[How the Journey started]
Now and then I have some friends/relatives asking about my experiences of being a stay-at-home wife. One of the few reasons for me to blog on this topic. People that revolve around me some are surprised when I tell them that I am a stay at home wife or a homemaker. While others are amazed knowing the fact that I don’t plan to have any kids soon. Back then, being a homemaker was seen as an essential role to be ( with or without kids).
During school days, I always thought that I would live my goals, and that is to be a successful career woman and climb the corporate ladder someday.
My life changed after I met my husband; my goals change entirely. I don’t have any desire to go back to the working world and build my career. I set my heart and soul towards creating and running my own house.
[Struggling Years throughout my Adult life]
Over the years before I got married, I started not seeing myself in the working world, most of the time, I don’t see myself even belong there. Every day feels like chaos to me, and I don’t have any desire to climb up the corporate ladder; all I feel like such a huge burden that I had to carry on my shoulder for years. I started leaving the company after several years to gain new experiences, change into a few jobs. I wasn’t happy at all. There are days when I feel depressed, and I started comparing myself with others. But still, I continue working for the money.
Then, later in life I started to think back what makes my life feels so incomplete, one of the reasons was that I left school while halfway pursuing the course that i really like and didn’t complete when I was 19, I don’t wish to disclose the reason why, it was the worst year of my life. My life shattered in millions of pieces. It was a course which I wanted so much, My course name title: Digital Animation, something that I dream of doing as I have mad love for art, designing animation. I still remember during my interviews; I didn’t even bring any portfolio to showcase my art. We had a trial test of sketches, and I got in. I was selected the next day. On a positive note, I did graduate from a previous school in-office course, and that is how I landed all my job mostly in the service industry, call centre, contact centre. This was one of the reasons which makes me feel incomplete and lost throughout my life. Life continues on.
Later in life, I met my husband. He saw me struggle throughout the years back then from being friends, courtship, engage, and now happily married. He was the most exceptional person God has given me. He was there during my struggle and downfall. Fendi was fun as a friend even now as a husband. He was my greatest inspiration. We went through rock bottom in our relationship some years during our courtship while I’m still trying to figure out myself. He teaches me the true meaning in life, while others label me as a lost girl. There are days when I have a hard time coping with thinking and regretting my past decisions.
Today I’m the new me, I live by accepting myself during my fail years and getting back up, my husband was behind every step of the way. I never doubt myself anymore and never look back and blaming myself like I used to because of the few wrong decisions which I took in my life before. I embrace the new me, I breathe the new air everyday. I wont know what the future brings me but for sure I took one right decisions in my life now and that is by marrying my husband, I couldn’t ask for more.Tough roads mold me into a different person and I have look at life in a lot of different ways now.
During our engagement, we often discussed our goals, our dreams, our future travel plans, and what we expected of each other after marriage.
Then one beautiful day after we got married for about several months, we both decided to discuss the topic of me possibly staying at home, We talk on a few issues, along the way I propose the benefits along with all the things I would do as a stay at home wife, pursuing my passion.
Fendi agreed without any hesitation in everything. He even encourages me to pursue the things that I love. Or also pursue my studies again if that is what I wanted. He was very supportive, and we both are very happy with the decisions made.
[Living on One income]
We went through our finances, and it was not necessary for me to work. His earnings are enough for both of us to lead a simple life, a comfortable lifestyle, and travel, that is what we both need.
However, if I wanted to work, it was my own choice. We decided to go with the decisions made, My journey as a homemaker started.
But somewhere throughout the marriage, I did some part-time job out of boredom. But now I decide to be fully committed to my role as a homemaker.
[Perk of being a Homemaker]
Our marriage is still in the early years, but we grow a lot over the years.
We both have different roles to play in our relationship. We are committed to contributing our fullest in it.
Freedom and Flexibility
I have lots of freedom and flexibility. I would plan my days in my journal. I didn’t have to rush anything to keep my house tidy. I can run errands by taking my own time. Fendi works shift hours so I would plan days out with family/friends on those days when he was on his shift. During his off days, we would have our days plan to ourselves, we would prepare for brisk walking together, cooking or just relaxing watching NetFlix. I am the happiest given this opportunity to be the best wife possible for my husband.
Healthier and Stressfree
I have become a happier person ever since the decision, no more stress or anxiety that I used to carry the weight on my shoulders throughout the years every day. I am finally doing the things I love every day.
I have no more unnecessary stress or worries.
Each day when I wake up, my top priorities will be taking care of the household, my husband, and care for my family.
I never look back and regret the decisions I took now; having a career was not my call. I have no absolute interest to pursue that anymore. I am happy about my choices, and I feel enough.
The true calling in my life now is being a housewife and one day even a mother.I am not opposed to women working at all. In future if I plan to continue my passion/business; however, it was on my own time and my own pace.
My mum has been a homemaker throughout her life, growing up in the environment and coming home to her every day meant a lot to me in my childhood days, my mum cooks great delicious food for us every day without fail, while cleaning the house and raising the four of us siblings.
My mum taught me a lot of skills which I could use in my marriage now when back then, I thought it was useless. She shows me a lot of skills in being a homemaker downright from keeping the toilet clean, bed sheet change, moping the floor, the most important is cooking.
I believe at least one person in the household should be able to prepare home cook meal , it can help save a lot of money, and you can eat more fresher and healthier food compared to outside food. It would even benefit a career woman, and this is a life skill which we can all learn, it’s not only about passion, cooking is part of surviving too. But once in a while, it’s okay to dine out. No matter how you run the things in your daily life. It’s totally your own choice.
My mum give me a vision on what a house-maker was like on a daily basis.
[Homemaker is not for everyone]
Everyone has their personal goals and dreams they plan to achieve in their life; being a housewife is not mean for everyone.
Whatever your goals are, do chase your dreams and never give up even when everyone around you don’t agree on the path you are taking. Be firm on the choices you make, live by your rules. Never ever give up on your dreams! And always have self-acceptance that they are somethings in life that is not meant for you.
Remember that you don’t own anyone any explanation to the choices you make in life which makes you happy. Always be proud of your achievements, be it small or big.
Every day I am grateful and blessed for living such a wonderfully simple life with my beloved husband in our own house. I have my freedom of running my own home and thankful that I can fulfill the role every day.